Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
