You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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