she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
