Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
