Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
