PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
