he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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