The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
