CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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