The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it hurts more in the daytime
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
