I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
