that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
