Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
