she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
