That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
50% drunk capacity currently
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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