If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
