three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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