I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
