2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
