So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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