nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
