Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
