the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
