I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
