then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You need a sexual gate keeper
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Im part way to drunk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
