Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
