So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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