I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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