Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
