if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
