Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
