that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
