If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
