There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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