i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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