Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
even my farts smell like vagina
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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