I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
