I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ugly people sure do ruin things
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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