Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the condom got lost in my hair
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
