It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Non-Jews are for practice
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
