My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
