had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
