I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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