So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
