I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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