operation harelip BJ is a go
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
