Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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