Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
