i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
