people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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