You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
