i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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