The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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