fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
